


Birthday Memories

by megi_leaves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Birthdays, Kinda, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mild Language, Sad, Short, Short One Shot, short and sad, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:53:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7433937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megi_leaves/pseuds/megi_leaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Today is a special day. It's his birthday. Tsukkishima decides to go out for school and give Yams his gift, but then he remembers something else. Short, hardly two pages on google docs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Something to make you sad. Short. Very, very short.

         I remembered what today was. My alarm went off and my phone reminded me of what today was again. I sighed and got changed, and pulled out my headphones, and grabbed my lunch out of the fridge and packed it in my school bag. Walking up to the cupboard and grabbing a box of cereal, I got out the milk, a spoon and a bowl. I turned on my music and ate my cereal in a dead silence, nothing except for you and my music bouncing around my head. I finished eating and rinsed my bowl, leaving my mom to finish the rest. Grabbing the small gift beside the door and packing it away, I started to leave the house. "See you tonight Mom." I say casually while giving her a wave and walking outside. She responds with the generic, simple saying of "Have a good day, love you Kei."

 

        I walked over to the bus stop and waited for the bus to come. As I boarded it, I couldn't help notice.. How boring and colourless everything looked without you beside me. I sighed and took a seat with my bag on the seat beside me. It started raining halfway to the high school. "Great, just fucking great." I thought bitterly.

 

         The bus arrived at the school, and the day dragged on, for-fucking-ever. There was no volleyball club today, and the rain had stopped, so I continued walking to your house. I came up to the door and that's when it hit me- you weren't home. You weren't there yesterday either, or the day before. You hadn't been home in three months. ‘Hold on a minute.. Everything came rushing back to me, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. I blinked them back. "Goddamnit.."

 

         I ran away from your house, going anywhere but there. I ran and I ran and ran until my feet were sore. I stopped and rested my hands on my knees, huffing and panting for air. I sat down on the bench, not sure where I was. At least it was quiet and peaceful. I remembered it all again. I gripped my head- why. Why. Why. Why did you have to leave so soon? I didn't even tell you..The tears sting at my eyes. I choked on them- I wasn't used to them all the time. But this time, just this once, I let them fall. Falling with my entire hopes and dreams of spending a future with you, my memories of you, and you yourself.

 

          You had died three months ago. You, the love of my life and my best friend, who gave me a cute nickname, who understood me more than anyone ever could; had died before I could tell you the three special words. I love you. But now- now you're gone and it's all my fault. You went out that night- and ended up walking home. You called me and asked me to get you but I can't believe I said a harsh "No." Because I, myself, was being angry at the world and boiling in my own anger. Everything, everything that night was my fault. I can't believe what I did was so selfish.

 

         The tears rolled down my face as I heard the news the next day. And they still roll today. It stings my eyes; It feels like I haven't cried in forever. I can't even remember when the last time I cried was. I get up, and take the bus to the cemetery. As I get off, I pull your gift from my bag. Sitting down beside the gravestone, the tears still there, barely hanging on to my waterline. I open it slowly as if you were there beside me. "T-this is for you.. Tadashi.." I look at it sadly, and it's a collage of pictures of you and me. I point to a picture of a very young Yamaguchi, who has his arm wrapped around a very young me. "Remember this?" I sniffed. "T-this is when... We were five... We went to the park and you got your hand stuck under a hole in the sandbox.." I laughed a bit at the funny memory and almost choked on my tears. I looked at another picture and it's when we were older. "Hey look, the first day of actual school for us." I say. My voice cracks on the last two words and the tears come down fresh."a-and this.. Is when.. We s-started junior high..." I pointed to the last and most recent photo, "This was three months ago." I rest my head on my knees and cry. I keep crying and let the horrible thoughts I had stored away for the past three months engulf my head. 

          How was I so useless? How could I have let you go out to the club drinking with some other people all alone without me there? Why- why was I so fucking stupid why couldn't I have said "yes! I'll be right there. Wait for me." It's all my fault- I'm so fucking stupid.. I let you die because I wouldn't go and pick up my best friend from a fucking club. Stupid. Oh god why.. You of all people I had to let die. Fuck. I lift my lift my head up and almost see your face- a hallucination. It fades away as soon as I see it. 

          My lip is quivering, I've never broken down like this before. "I miss you, Yamaguchi." I say up to the sky. My eyes wander around the dreary sky, reflecting my mood and staring me in the face. I stand up and place the collage of photos beside the grave and wipe my eyes. My glasses are dirtied and I wipe them with my shirt. I stare at the stone. It stares back. It reads your name, your birthdate and your death date. I hate death dates. My face contorts into a display of various emotions and I almost fall. Instead of me myself falling, it's more tears. In the softest voice I say five words, my voice about to break.

  
  


"I love you, Yamaguchi Tadashi."

**Author's Note:**

> How'd you like it? I'm not as good as other people, but please leave a comment and a Kudo!  
> -megi_leaves


End file.
